Sleeping on The Couch Tonight

This will more than likely be me tonight once my wife reads the blog I wrote over on this website.

You can read the blog here:  http://www.deaf-insight.com/15/post/2012/10/my-wife-is-going-to-kill-me.html

T-Minus 7 Days

In 7 Days, I return back to work.  I work at a University, and my responsibility is students' academic history all the way until they graduate from school.  If the student has issues with professors, study concerns, family problems, or anything else, they come to me for assistance.  I am their main point of contact, and the person to give them hope to finish their education.
 
I am looking forward to returning; I have been out since June 2012.  My ears are healing still,  but I feel it is time to go back to work.  If you are not familiar with my story, I woke up one morning with no hearing at all and thought I was sick with ear infection, which turned out to be permanent hearing loss.  Well, at least this is what the doctors think the reasoning is to be for the sudden hearing loss.

So, what am I doing this week?  This week is last minute doctor appointments.  I am going to see my audiologist to get another hearing aid adjustment now that I have my earmolds.  I am also going to see my ENT, and my headache doctor.  I have a busy week but no worries. I have a special treat in store for Jeff on Friday.  See picture below:

 

Deaf Buddy

My buddy "4Ears,4Eyes" is one cool girl.  She actually got up the courage to post my story when I created a "ASL T-Shirt".  She also included a special picture but I don't want to say too much.

 Just click on the icon and leave a comment on her page. 

Add caption

Talking About Street Art

"Switched at Birth" a show that comes on Monday nights. Sixteen years ago, one mistake changed two families forever when two newborns were switched at birth. Bay grew up in a wealthy family while Daphne, who lost her hearing as a child, was raised by a single mom in a working class neighborhood. 

My wonderful wife had a great idea we should talk about Bay and Bay's dad relationship in the last episode during our Sunday home conversation meeting which we call Grace Happens. 

Some of the questions we asked:

1.  Is street art wrong? Why do people do street art? Do you think it's creative expression or vandalism?

2. Why does Bay tell her parents that Zara is who she would be if she hadn't been switched?

3.  What do you think will happen to Bay in the end?

4.  The "my way or highway" response Bay's Dad gave Bay in the episode I attached seems pretty harsh.  Is another way Mr. Kennish could have handled the situation?  Why didn't Bay's mom speak up during the conversation?  Is there another way to handle Bay since they have already tried playing to her good nature?

5.  If your child had a friend you didn't like, how would you handle it?

My wife and I feel that when you watch a show like "Switched at Birth" a family should reflect on its quality and important of what the director is trying to share.  It also makes for good conversation piece with friends. When we get together with our kids with topic or shows like this we really don't have an agenda or parents take ownership.  We believe kids sometimes have better ways of saying things than adults.  It was a good discussion.  I highly recommend the show and you can watch season one on Netflix and Hulu.

Mentoring Deaf Newbies

I was thinking today there are a lot of deaf resources and information you can find in the internet.  You can search things like how to learn ASL to medical information and assisted technology for the deaf and hard of hearing. 

Do you know other than Facebook groups (most of the people being outside of your location) and some organizations that meet once maybe once a month (and maybe not on a "newbie" level) or so there are not many mentoring programs.  What I mean by mentoring is having one person assigned to a newbie for 6 months making sure they are encouraged, supported, giving good quality information about deaf products and culture, and working through healing process.  It would have to be someone who has been through the experience themselves.  Here are some of the things the mentor would share:

• Captioning - Captioning on phone, TV, computer, etc
• Facebook Groups to join
• Daily Thought Journal - help them express their feelings
• Referrals - to doctors or audiologist (if need be)
• Teach Sign Language

I believe we need to start something.  I remember when I woke up one morning and my hearing was completely gone and I was scared.  I thought it was a cold but to find out it was more than that.  I received help from a few good people during my time of sadness and now educated to assist others in need.  

Social Web

Spiders I can live without but spider webs I can look at all day long.  Spiders are such wonderful artists, the way they spin such impressive designs.  It takes about one hour for a spider to construct an elaborate web of silk thread, called an orb web. An orb web consists of a series of roughly circular, concentric outlines, with spokes extending from a hub. Orb webs, which are most noticeable in the morning dew, are constructed by many species of spiders.

About ten years ago I started spinning my web - the social web.  I started with stories about my daughters being born, my religious experiences, how I met my wife,  and stories about the personal struggles we all face.  Social media like Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, and other platforms gives us a way to be connected in a web as intricate  as any spider web.

We really are creatures of habit and we like being around one type of people until something forces us to move further out.  In April 2012,  I lost my hearing.  My social web changed that day from a network of people who were only in the hearing world to those in the deaf and hard of hearing world.  I believe the social web is about being part of a design, like a spider web, and seeing what a truly unique pattern we create together.  

Mucusland

For the past few days I have been in Mucusland. No, I did not mean to say Disneyland.  The rides are really sticky and really expensive given you can't use your flex spending account to buy Tylenol or Mucinex D to kill thick monster rolling around in my head.  And worse of all I can't wear my hearing aids because my ears are so irriated, red, itchy, and probably infected.  I am deaf without them.  I know this will pass but right now I am not thinking about how tomorrow is going to feel.

Okay I so do not like this guy.  "Mucus is incredibly important for our bodies," explains Michael M. Johns, III, MD, director of the Emory Voice Center and assistant professor of otolaryngology -- head and neck surgery at Emory University. "It is the oil in the engine. Without mucus, the engine seizes." (http://www.webmd.com/allergies/features/the-truth-about-mucus) Do you agree with what he says?  Trust me I can live without the ugly green dude above.

Oh, by the way, be very careful where you walk because I accidentally lost my ear tubes prematurely.  Yeah, I have a call into the ENT to see if he want to put new ones back in.  Yeah, there is always exciting at my house.

The good new is I am almost done with the Vampire Diaries and it is probably one is the best vampire series out there I have ever watched. 

How Did You Come Up With That Title?

Some people have asked me what “World of Silence” means.

We live in a world of noise.  There are several cities around the world that never slow down, like New York, Miami, Los Angeles, and Atlanta.  When you go on a cruise ship you can dance the night away and never be without noise.   You would think churches would value silence but not so.  There are some noisy churches out there that play music before, during, and after service, sometimes really loud Christian rock.  In movie theaters, you not only have the movie running but also people texting, chatting, unwrapping and munching food, and kids bouncing around in their seats.  Where can you go to have silence?  

Numerous studies have linked unwanted sound to increased levels of stress. Even low-level noise has been associated with increased aggression and other mental health problems, as well as poor sleep, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

“World of Silence” is about me suddenly going deaf several months ago.  I wasn’t a loud person when I was able to hear but I sure wasn’t a quiet person either.  “World of Silence” is about helping others appreciate a moment of silence, whether you can hear or not.  You don’t need to be deaf to learn silence so I challenge you to spend 5-10 minutes a day with no noise or sound.  I know it is going to be difficult but 5-10 minutes is not too long and you might just see how much you learn about yourself.

SHHH!  Quiet.  I am practicing silence now.  Are you?

48 Hours

My brother Jason came in from out of state to visit me and the family.  I love to be silly but especially when he comes out I get weird and have lots of fun.  Here we are walking through the mall stopping at Claire's.

My brother is so much fun to be with.  He has read all my blogs and Facebook messages.  It really meant a lot to me for him to come down from New York to Atlanta this weekend to visit.

I knew before he came I had to get a good hearing aid adjustment because he was going to take me places and test these puppies out.  So this is what we did:

DAY 1 - Atlanta Zoo - animals, screaming kids, more animals, loud.  Then we went out to noisy pizza place were pizza plates were dropped on the floor and TV's were pretty loud, and kids screaming.  RESULTS:  EARS NOT TOO BAD.  EARS SURVIVED

DAY 2 - COSTUME SHOPPING - Went to the Mall (see picture above).  We were there for awhile.  Really loud in mall.  Went to eat Chinese food somewhere else more quitE but still loud with TV's going on with stupid football playing (sorry I hate football).  Night time, I am doing okay and we decide to go to AMC movie.  We all buy tickets.  I was a little bit nervous about going to see a movie, especially since AMC's do not offer any captioning.  I go in and the previews come on and I jump out of my seat and say, "HELL NO".  My ears are just not ready for movies yet.  Maybe if I didn't go to the mall the movie would be tolerable.  I wonder how many decibel a movie is?

Brother Jason, thank you for visiting and cheering me up.  My family loves you and we look forward to see you again soon.

SLOW DOWN THERE HORSE

You see me in this picture.

Yeah, that's me, the dark one trying to find a way to run away.  The other horse is you - my wonderful Facebook friends, my wife, and Audiologist saying, "Jeff, slow down, go slow with those hearing aids.  For heaven sakes you just got them.  Give yourself time to get use to them." 

I am so stubborn and want to quickly get to point B and move passed this ear pain or even the sounds I haven't heard in a long time with my hearing aids on.   I think I finally learned I need to take a break and rest my ears for a few hours a day, especially before my wife and kids get home.  I am pushing myself too much and need to rest.

My plan is before my kids come home is to put my earplugs in for two hours so when they are home my ears will be refreshed.  Maybe in a month or so my tolerance level will be better with high pitched noises.

Massage Helped A LITTLE

I didn't do much today other than visit the ENT for post-operative surgery.  I was home and all of sudden my ears started hurting me.  It is not easy at all getting people to believe the pain in my ear is really severe.  Most of the time it ends up being a horrible migraine, which doesn't go away until the next day. 

I found a really informative website to help novices understand hearing test.  If you   Please click on Demystifying Hearing Test and if you scroll down to #7 you will see what my audiologist and I struggle with when programming my hearing aids.

Today I decided to do something a little bit different.  Instead of going upstairs and crying until the next morning I tried a 30 minute deep tissue massage.  I got some relief.  I am not 100 percent out of pain lane but got some relief.

Has anyone ever tried acupuncture before?  What is it like?

A Parent’s Favorite Word

This is the ASL sign for NO!




Everyone knows the first word out of a baby’s is usually “Mama” or, if you have a smart child, “Dada.”  My  children said “Mama” first.  Now can you guess what a parent’s favorite word is?  Right, we use “no” a lot when it comes to our children because we want to keep them safe and teach them boundaries. “No” is also a toddler’s favorite word, because they are learning that they can impose boundaries, and they are really excited by this new-found power. My blog today is about rediscovering boundaries and the power of “no” for ourselves.

What do I mean by “boundaries”?  How do we determine if our boundaries are healthy?  Think of yourself as a farm with a fence around your property.  Boundaries determine what you allow past your fence and what you bar.  Boundaries keep the wolves out and the livestock safe.  But sometimes we forget to say “no” and things go crazy. The wolves get in and the cattle scatter. We waste a lot of time and energy putting things back in order.  Each of us has our own boundaries and it’s up to us to make sure we keep our fence maintained. One way to tell if you have healthy boundaries is see how many times you say “no.” I make it a daily activity to remind myself that I have limitations.  Here are some of my recent “no’s”:

1. No, I will not go to places that are noisy, because it hurts my ears. If I go I will use ear protection.
2. No, I will not drink coffee because it keeps me up late at night and it makes my tinnitus worse.
3. No, I will not buy into the cult of “busy.” I will always make time to be still and reflect - enjoy the World of Silence.
4. No, I am not disabled because I am deaf or hard of hearing.  I just “hear “with other senses (taste, sight, touch).
5. No, I won’t go it alone. When I am stuck in a situation where I need help I will ask for it.

These are just a few examples.  What would you add to this boundary list for yourself?

I highly recommend a book called Boundaries, by Henry Cloud.